i was thinking about this yesterday... is it about getting presents from your man and kids? is it about cards and cakes and all that commercial stuff? is it about being told happy mothers day? yay my kids told me... yay i was spoiled...
for me yesterday was about introspection and profound thought, also alot of soul searching and grieving...
was i deserving of a happy mothers day? was i a good mother? was i a good mother to my children? was my mother a good mother to me?
so many thoughts and feelings. i have been going thru what i truly think is the most hard life changing year of my life. i have had to confront alot of things about myself and to be honest about alot of unpleasant things. i have to face the truth about me and who i am and as an extension how that person made me the wife and mother that i am.
i have accepted that i have not been the best most perfect mother, i have accepted that sometimes my children got left behind in my pursuit of escapism, i have accepted that i am not perfect, i have accepted that my parents are not there for me, i have accepted that it is their own issues that prevent them from being the best parent they can to me. i have accepted that i have been unhealthy. i have accepted responsibility for my actions. i have humbled myself and my motherhood and realized that while all these things are true, i have also done so much good and i have tried and i have been aware. i have persued healthy teachings, i have been to counselling and parenting groups. i have taught myself to be a better mom and wife and Sacheen.
i am so proud of that. i am proud of what i have done and accomplished. my kids for all thier 'problems' have all turned out pretty damned good and i am proud of the job i did all these years and i am proud of them. i am proud of myself. i am the product of countless generations of dysfunctionalism and oppression and i have had no guidance or teachings from my parents or grandparents... but i have had others in my life who have been there for me and didnt judge me and gave me good advice when i needed it and was there for me unconditionaly throughout everything. thank you i am greatful...
so my conclusion is mothers day isnt really about us its about our kids (for me anyways) and i honor them and love them and am grateful i have them
Letitia thank you so much for being you, we had some rough times with you and you were our first teenager and we had so much heartbreak and joy with you. you taught us alot about patience and letting go and they were lessons well learned. you are fun and helpful and willing to try and that makes all the difference in life! your an amazing mother and i am happy you are in my life and are my daughter :) drama mama :P
Damon you are a little Joe James and you make me laugh you are still making your way in life and learning about growing up and being a man and we are here for you whenever you need us, we are only a phone call or an email away. your talent with the guitar amazes me and i know you will take this potential far in life. you can be anything you want and i am proud of the brother you are. your goodness shines thru even when you are being annoying :P lmao
Sabre you have always have had a very pragmatic way about you and a depth of thought that i find very mature in such a young man. your sense of humor is very quirky and wry and i cant wait to meet the man you are becoming. life is about experiences good and bad and we are always here for you if you need it. dont be afraid to reach out son nothing but good can come it! we still love you even if you laugh at your own dumb jokes :P
Scarlette you have been my best friend and my practice baby lol we have been thru so much together and are still going thru alot. you are smart and fun and me and you share the same sense of humor and craziness, if you are not making the right choices in life right now i wont judge you and i will be here when i need you. you are so full of potential and its there if you want to use it. dont be afraid to share your feelings babe its hard but worth it. hey did you hear the news? dewey cox died :P
Delzen your love and loyalty are such good qualities and i am thankful that you have them, you dont have any problems with being who you are and if everyone jumped up off a bridge you would say they were stupid :) you are very sensitive and kind and in touch with everyone elses feelings around you and i love that about you. you will make some women an awesome husband even if you are loud and obnoxious sometimes :P
Apanii my loving little butterfly fluttering about from activity to activity and often leaving a trail of what you were doing behind :) you are so touchy feely and free with your love it shows how trusting and sweet you are. you become very engrossed in what you are doing at that moment and i think that is so good even tho you often have your mouth open while you are doing it lol :P
Brat Princes Chico and Coda, Chicoda, my boys, my loves, my little men... without you i dont know where i would be... you are so caring and sweet and funny... such little characters every day with you is an adventure and a learning experience every day with you affirms that i am doing right as a mother. they say you can measure the healthiness and stability of the parents by the behavior of their toddlers and children. well then i know i have been an awesome mama, you are both so happy and loving and caring, you are both so quick to laugh and dance and smile... your little baby hugs and kisses and unconditional worship of your queen aka mama :) keep your mama going and keeping on every day... even if you are both little stinky farters :P
all my children are a blessing and i am grateful that i have a chance to be their mama and to grow with them and be with them.... i thank the creator for them every day. and if i am always trying to remember that they are young and making mistakes and learning how to be, then i can hope they can remember that me as a mama is still a human being and still growing and learning myself... as long as we are all trying then it everything will work out....
i love you guys so much, happy mothers day kids
Queen Mama
for me yesterday was about introspection and profound thought, also alot of soul searching and grieving...
was i deserving of a happy mothers day? was i a good mother? was i a good mother to my children? was my mother a good mother to me?
so many thoughts and feelings. i have been going thru what i truly think is the most hard life changing year of my life. i have had to confront alot of things about myself and to be honest about alot of unpleasant things. i have to face the truth about me and who i am and as an extension how that person made me the wife and mother that i am.
i have accepted that i have not been the best most perfect mother, i have accepted that sometimes my children got left behind in my pursuit of escapism, i have accepted that i am not perfect, i have accepted that my parents are not there for me, i have accepted that it is their own issues that prevent them from being the best parent they can to me. i have accepted that i have been unhealthy. i have accepted responsibility for my actions. i have humbled myself and my motherhood and realized that while all these things are true, i have also done so much good and i have tried and i have been aware. i have persued healthy teachings, i have been to counselling and parenting groups. i have taught myself to be a better mom and wife and Sacheen.
i am so proud of that. i am proud of what i have done and accomplished. my kids for all thier 'problems' have all turned out pretty damned good and i am proud of the job i did all these years and i am proud of them. i am proud of myself. i am the product of countless generations of dysfunctionalism and oppression and i have had no guidance or teachings from my parents or grandparents... but i have had others in my life who have been there for me and didnt judge me and gave me good advice when i needed it and was there for me unconditionaly throughout everything. thank you i am greatful...
so my conclusion is mothers day isnt really about us its about our kids (for me anyways) and i honor them and love them and am grateful i have them
Letitia thank you so much for being you, we had some rough times with you and you were our first teenager and we had so much heartbreak and joy with you. you taught us alot about patience and letting go and they were lessons well learned. you are fun and helpful and willing to try and that makes all the difference in life! your an amazing mother and i am happy you are in my life and are my daughter :) drama mama :P
Damon you are a little Joe James and you make me laugh you are still making your way in life and learning about growing up and being a man and we are here for you whenever you need us, we are only a phone call or an email away. your talent with the guitar amazes me and i know you will take this potential far in life. you can be anything you want and i am proud of the brother you are. your goodness shines thru even when you are being annoying :P lmao
Sabre you have always have had a very pragmatic way about you and a depth of thought that i find very mature in such a young man. your sense of humor is very quirky and wry and i cant wait to meet the man you are becoming. life is about experiences good and bad and we are always here for you if you need it. dont be afraid to reach out son nothing but good can come it! we still love you even if you laugh at your own dumb jokes :P
Scarlette you have been my best friend and my practice baby lol we have been thru so much together and are still going thru alot. you are smart and fun and me and you share the same sense of humor and craziness, if you are not making the right choices in life right now i wont judge you and i will be here when i need you. you are so full of potential and its there if you want to use it. dont be afraid to share your feelings babe its hard but worth it. hey did you hear the news? dewey cox died :P
Delzen your love and loyalty are such good qualities and i am thankful that you have them, you dont have any problems with being who you are and if everyone jumped up off a bridge you would say they were stupid :) you are very sensitive and kind and in touch with everyone elses feelings around you and i love that about you. you will make some women an awesome husband even if you are loud and obnoxious sometimes :P
Apanii my loving little butterfly fluttering about from activity to activity and often leaving a trail of what you were doing behind :) you are so touchy feely and free with your love it shows how trusting and sweet you are. you become very engrossed in what you are doing at that moment and i think that is so good even tho you often have your mouth open while you are doing it lol :P
Brat Princes Chico and Coda, Chicoda, my boys, my loves, my little men... without you i dont know where i would be... you are so caring and sweet and funny... such little characters every day with you is an adventure and a learning experience every day with you affirms that i am doing right as a mother. they say you can measure the healthiness and stability of the parents by the behavior of their toddlers and children. well then i know i have been an awesome mama, you are both so happy and loving and caring, you are both so quick to laugh and dance and smile... your little baby hugs and kisses and unconditional worship of your queen aka mama :) keep your mama going and keeping on every day... even if you are both little stinky farters :P
all my children are a blessing and i am grateful that i have a chance to be their mama and to grow with them and be with them.... i thank the creator for them every day. and if i am always trying to remember that they are young and making mistakes and learning how to be, then i can hope they can remember that me as a mama is still a human being and still growing and learning myself... as long as we are all trying then it everything will work out....
i love you guys so much, happy mothers day kids
Queen Mama
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